So I shouldn’t share my goals???

I just saw this short video from the TED conference. Blew my mind. Had to share:

Whether this is absolute, I have no clue. It does raise an interesting question though. Why do most people share the goals they have? I would assume to gain motivation. I do think that instead of motivation they sometimes receive satisfaction instead. They become satisfied with sharing the goal, and no longer feel the need to avidly pursue the goal. I have seen this in my own life.

How do we counter this? Where is the balance between setting the goal and finding support, or ruining the goal because by spreading the message you have diffused your urgency?

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Life Lessons Learned from my Daschund

I have a pal named Shorty. This little dog has been my buddy for over 10 years. He has been a good dog. He is the most loyal thing I have ever seen. He still follows me around the house. He still has to run in the house first thing and come looking for me. He isn’t satisfied until he finds me and gets his back scratched. He is the picture of devotion.

It makes me wonder what my life would look like if I applied even a 10th of the devotion to things that he gives to me. It is an interesting thought exercise. What would my relationship with God look like if I was that devoted? What would my marriage look like? How would my friendships be affected? What goals would I accomplish and how fast?

I am amazed at the devotion he shows me. Yep. Here he is. He just walked in the room. He is not even done chewing his food. He had to come find me.

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The power of choice.

I looked in the mirror not too long ago and was disgusted with what I saw. I weighed over 280 pounds. My face was puffy. I felt horrible. I looked horrible. It felt like it was something I couldn’t control.

We all know that this is not the truth. One of our most basic freedoms is the freedom to choose. I had the freedom to stop putting bad food in my mouth. I also had the freedom to exercise like a maniac, though I wasn’t. The problem was this: It was something I couldn’t control then, because I thought I couldn’t control it. Perception became reality.

Then, one day I woke up. Somewhere deep inside I made the choice to change. I am 40 pounds lighter now, and I am still a work in progress. I know that if I want to make the long term goal I have set I have to break it down into smaller goals. What I want to do five years from now is affected by what I do today. So, I simply have to make sure I have a goal for today. That goal has to be a part of my goal for the week, which are a part of my goals for the month, for the year, and for five years out. If I choose to what is right today, I can choose the same tomorrow and for the time to come. The goal will become a reality.

I am proof of this. I look in the mirror now and then back at pictures of me from then. The power of choice is quite evident.

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Are we doomed to repeat?

History. Those who don’t know it are doomed to repeat it. This is true on the large scale and the small one. It is easy to hear this statement and think about politics. It is just as true in relationships.

As we build relationships we develop history. We build trust as the relationships grow. We know which paths to go down and which paths require extra caution and care. But when we forget, we are setting ourselves up for trouble. Arguments that have been had before surface again. Old feelings that we haven’t felt in some time raise their ugly heads. The progress we have made seems small.

How do we remember history? Through stories. Do you remember the time? Oh, yeah…that was when we…We sure have come a long way since then…As we remind each other of the story we have lived together we help each other remember. We share things in common. We continue to build on those things. Together we remember the rough spots and agree not to go back there. By reading the story together (taking time to remember), history can not repeat. Progress is made and kept.

How long has it been since you sat down with your someone special and talked it over?

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You only said two words, but you told me all I need to know.

Two words can tell a whole story. Don't believe me? Vote Repulican. Vote Democrat. Buy domestic. Choose life. Cubs win.

Believe it or not, an entire history can be referenced in just two words. It is a history people identify with. It is part of their story. For the good or bad. The language that we use is dripping with meaning. Definitions. Memories. Frustrations. Triumphs. Two words can bring it all back.

Imagine what many purposeful words can do when you are telling your story? You bring people in. Form friendships. Build trust. Find purpose. It is the same for careless words. You can damage your credibility and hurt many with a few ill spoken words. (think Arkansas School Board).

Bottom line is this: People are listening to what we are saying. Choose your words wisely. You might be saying more than you realize.

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Happiness is…

Is it possible that we get so busy living our lives that we never ask ourselves, "What makes me happy?" Some may know the answer to this, but many of us are left puzzled. Like we have never really paused long enough to think about the question.

The person who weighs 400 pounds. The person who spends every night at the bar. The person who spends every extra penny at the casino. What got them there? What will get them out?

The good news is this: we don't have to stay where we are. Look in the mirror. Be honest. If you can't be honest with the person staring back at you, you can't be honest with anyone. Ask the question. What makes me happy? Where do I find joy? Take a few steps back and look at your situation. Ask a friend you trust for their opinion. Get a good clear picture. If you aren't happy now, knowing what you want is the first step.

There is more power inside of you than you know. I love this quote: There is a giant asleep within every man. When the giant awakes, miracles happen. — Frederick Faust

Are your choices taking you toward the life you want? Or further away? Make the choice today to wake up the giant, and do something great.

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I remember instances in my past where I have been bullied. Many times it happens when you did nothing to provoke it. You are left wondering what is wrong with you. Why would someone want to lash out at you? What did you do? Most of the the the answer is nothing.

There is the great chance that you didn’t do anything wrong. You just were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You found yourself around people you thought you could trust, but violated you instead. It hurt and you were wronged, and now you feel like the bad guy.

I read the story of the student in New Jersey the other day. It broke my heart. He was violated in the worst way and couldn’t recover. What was done to him is horrible. His family is in my prayers.

I have been working on this post for half an hour. I have no more words. I don’t understand the need to put someone else down to make yourself feel good.

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