Why I blog…

I read a great post tonight on my wife’s blog entitled “Why I blog.” My wife, Marixa, is very passionate about living on purpose. She has a great passion for family and babies and birth. I love her perspective. I love her passion for living. I love her. Very much.

She said something that stuck with me. The following is an excerpt from her post (you can read the full post on her site):

That’s what I want this blog to be about. I want to challenge your thinking on subjects. I want you to think about your view or opinion on a subject and make sure you have thoroughly thought it through. Changing your mind is not my goal. It’s showing you a different perspective or new info so you can be sure of your stance on the subject.

This is one of the reasons I blog as well. I want to wrestle through tough subjects and hopefully have anyone who reads join me in the conversation. That is what blogging is: adding your voice to the conversation that is already going on. We take the time to write out and explain a subject from our viewpoint. Those who read can take that information and do with it what they will. Hopefully the reader is enlightened in some way. I know I am enlightened every time I post because I have had to wrestle through my thoughts on a subject and deliver them in a format that makes sense.

Seth Godin and Tom Peters have a great video on YouTube about why they choose to blog:

Why do I blog? It lets me join in conversations that are important to me. It makes me think through what I believe and what I want to say. It gives me an avenue to impact people with my words, and I am grateful that through the process of blogging I am impacted as well.

It is uncomfortable to dream.

I will admit it. I like things to be comfortable. Yesterday it was raining in Oklahoma. My wife had the shades in the house drawn and lots of candles lit. The house smelled good. The lighting was nice. The temperature was just right. We made a good pot of chicken chili. It was a comfortable evening and I really enjoyed it. I want to be comfortable in my home. I like being comfortable in general.

I have come to the realization that I don’t want to be comfortable in everything. Ever had a job you hate? Every been in a relationship with someone that had grown stagnant? We grow comfortable and it doesn’t matter if we are miserable as well, we must maintain the comfort. I stayed in a job like that for nearly 4 years because it was something that didn’t push me too hard. I was miserable, but it was comfortable in its own way.

After yesterday’s post on chasing worthy goals, I sat down and typed out my Life Goal list. I currently have 72 items down, with hopes of making it to 100. It is extremely exciting to get all of these things down on paper. I like seeing them in front of me and thinking about what things I will be able to do. It was also an uncomfortable process as well. I know that to accomplish many of these things I will have to push myself harder than I have ever have before. I will have to go farther that I have been. I may have to give up some things that I enjoy to accomplish them. I will have to do things in a different way to attain different results. This is exciting and a bit scary all at the same time.

Dreaming is uncomfortable in this way. It takes us out of the place we are in and for a moment puts us in the place we want to be. Then, we have to connect the dots. Make out a plan. Act. To accomplish noble goals, I imagine that there is a great loss of comfort. I am ready for this. I am certain that the purpose that you gain because of it is worth the sacrifice.

How about you? Have you given up on any of your dreams because you have grown comfortable?

Chasing after worthy goals.

I have been a goal setter for years. Ok. Wait. I have been a wish setter. I call them goals, but most of the time I write down things I would like to do/have and then I close the book I have written them and I go on about my life. Then, months later, I find the book I wrote them in and think badly of myself because I haven’t accomplished any of my goals. The truth is I did some wishing on paper, but not much more.

Thankfully this is/has changed. Over the last couple of years I have accomplished a few goals. I have kept them in front of me. I have worked on them progressively. I have seen them accomplished. For instance, at one point in my life I weighed in the mid 260’s (my heaviest was 281). I decided early last year that I was going to make a change. I made it down to 220. Goal set. Goal achieved, mostly. I am up about 20 pounds now, but I am also in much better shape and still happy with the way I look and feel.

I recently read Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. It is an awesome read about the adventure of pursing a relationship with God. On his website he has a 8 page goal setting acticle that really brought goal setting into perspective for me. Goal setting is about looking far into the future and laying out a path for yourself that will get you to the future you have envisioned. Just like a master chess player you think about what you want the board to look like 20 moves ahead. In this way all of the goals that you set form a path. The path leads you to the person that you want to be.

I turned a year older yesterday. I have thought much about where I have been and where I want to go. I have thought much about the path that is in front of me, wondering if it will lead me anywhere good. And I remember, God knows the plans that he has for me. They are plans to prosper me and not harm me. He wants to to give me hope and a future. I trust that.

So, I prayerfully set my goals. There are many things that I have written down that I want to accomplish. They are in front of me. They are a map. They are not set in stone and can change, but that is the fun of the journey. I choose to chase them with all I am. I am excited to see where I end up.

How about you? Do you set goals? Do you have a list yet to be accomplished? Care to join me in the chase?

I found an oasis.

Once upon a time in my life I had a job I hated. We can all relate I am sure. One of the functions of this job was to run the errands for the office. My official title was Office Manager. My actual title could have been Office Gopher. So, I made a point to run my errands in such a way that I got to go by places or see things that gave me hope. One day I inadvertently found an oasis.

I was trying to get to a Bank of America branch. I had a large amount of coins that I had to deposit for the business owner (So he could put them in his granddaughter’s savings account. It had nothing to do with the business). The drive through would not take the large coin bag and I had to go to the nearest walk in branch. It is in a downtown office building that is made of glass. Inside the building are several businesses spread over 10 stories of building. The first floor of the building has a large water feature. When you walk in the building it is the first and loudest thing you hear. It was like white noise blocking out the frustration I felt inside. There is a cafe across from the water feature. I didn’t care if it took me an extra 20 minutes to get back to work. I bought a cup of coffee and sat and listened to the water. It was a healing place.

The office I worked in was one the most unprofessional places you could imagine. From the barrage of foul language to the owner’s love of smoking cigars in an open office, I could not see any hope some days. My self worth was plummeting. Somthing changed inside when I found the oasis. I was reminded that there was a much bigger world. One that was professional (and didn’t smell bad). Every time I went I watched the people around me. They were sharply dressed. They looked like they had a purpose about them. It was an amazing encouragement. I started to believe that I could be like that.

Do you have an oasis? Is there a place you go to gain perspective? Does it help you find focus?

I went back a couple of days ago. It had been a while. I am since in a job where I feel like those people I described before. I have worked hard. I have gained respect. I feel like the work I do matters. I needed the oasis for a different reason this time. I have dreams and goals I am working towards now. Personal and professional. Life gets so busy sometimes it is hard to find a quiet moment to think. So, I went back. The oasis I needed was still there, even though I needed it for a different reason. After a few minutes listening to the water and surrounded by the people the thoughts began to flow.

If you feel stuck, I encourage you to find your own oasis. Even if it is just 40 minutes in the middle of an average day, it will do wonders for your soul.

The iPhone doesn’t float.

I found this out the hard way the other day. I already knew it, but I got a fresh reminder all the same. We are potty training our son. He gladly gets up to do his thing, but usually wants to play one of his favorite applications on one of our iPhones when he does. I guess he was sitting different this time. One second he was playing his Grover game (of Sesame Street fame) and the next my phone was dropped into the toilet.

I was standing in with him when this happened. Thankfully. I had the phone out in a couple of seconds and then…the screen went black. I was certain the phone was ruined. I went from zero to frustrated in as long as it took to drop the iPhone in the water. (Note, I was not frustrated with my son over this. He is two and he had no intentions of doing what he did. Complete accident.) My frustration came from the fact that replacing an iPhone that is under contract before the renewal is an expensive ordeal…especially if the iPhone is out of warranty. (Water voids the warranty regardless, but if it is still within the warranty time the Apple Store Genius Bar will replace the iPhone 3G for $200.) My phone was out of warranty. This was not going to be cheap.

It is sad to say that I am as addicted to my smart phone as I am. I realized over the next day that I spend way too much time on the thing. I use it for valid reasons, but my emotions were too tied up with it. So much so that I was considering laying the money down for a new phone that afternoon. I went to the AT&T store. I asked for the early upgrade prices for the new iPhone 4 (I have the 3GS.) I swallowed my tongue when told the price. After recovering I asked the price on an upgrade to another 3GS. I fought back swallowing it again. The cheapest I was going to get out was $300 and that was for a smaller sized model. In the back of my mind I had the thought, “man, I never knew potty training would be this expensive.” I asked the associate if the phones were in stock. He said no and that it would take 5-7 days to receive a new phone.

Again, I am way too plugged into the stream of information. My mind went numb to the idea of having to spend 5 days without my iPhone. (Oh, the horror!) To my credit, I thanked him and walked out….and went straight to Best Buy to see if they had any in stock. Same deal. They did not. Thankfully.

An hour had passed since the phone dropped in the water. I had been able to get it back up to a degree (not recommended, I was a moron for trying to turn it back on with water still in it), but it was doing very funny things and the water damage sensor was on in the upper left corner of the phone. I turned it back off and started thinking. I had an old spare cell phone at the house. It is not like I wouldn’t have a phone. I started to calm. Then, I did something else that should have come to my mind much sooner. I prayed. It seemed silly, but I know God loves me. So, I asked Him to fix my phone. I turned the power on again and it powered up. The screen had some lines going through it, but it wasn’t black anymore. Progress is progress.

Again, I have fried an iPhone in the water before. If you get water on the motherboard they can go out in a flash and never come back. There seemed to be some hope and I had found some peace, so I got home, pulled the sim card, and threw it in a bag of rice. A day later the phone worked without a hitch. God had answered my prayer. I am left on the other side with a few lessons to ponder.

When do I need to use my smart phone? Why do I need to use it? Why did I feel the angst deep inside for not having it with me? My wife gave me a hug and a good reminder…”It is just stuff,” she said. “It will be all right.” She was right. It was not worth getting as upset over it as I did. It was replaceable. Not cheap, but replaceable. It was nice to have something drastic to help me put this issue back into a healthy perspective.

Keep moving forward…

I watched Meet the Robinsons for the first time this evening. It is a great Walt Disney movie for kids. I really enjoyed it. There was a quote at the very end of the movie from Walt Disney himself that is too good not to share:

Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

If you have a dream, keep moving forward. Learn from the failures, but don’t focus on them for long. Success is waiting to be found.

It is time for you to move.

I have only been to Utah once. It was during the week of the playoff matchup between the Bulls and the Jazz in the summer of 1998. I had never seen the mountains like I saw them there near Salt Lake City. They were enormous. They were beautiful. It definitely made me feel small.

Those mountains are not even big by comparison with many others in the US. That same summer I went to Colorado and was with a group that drove up Pikes Peak. Oy. I don’t think I realized that it could be 90 degrees at the bottom of the mountain and in the 30 degree range at the top. So, needless to say, I didn’t get out of the van for long. The elevation also got to me and I fell asleep. That was a big mountain. I almost thought we were going to crash on the way down from that one. The driver smoked the brakes for all they were worth!

I remember those mountains well. They were big and I am small. This is how the problems of life feel to me sometimes. They are so big. So formidable. So unscaleable. Or so it seems. They overwhelm me at times and it is all I can do to stand, let alone fight and climb.

Then, I get a fresh reminder of reality at church this morning at Lifechurch.tv. Pastor Craig Groeshel has been speaking on Toxic things in our lives. This morning was about Toxic words. Words have the power of life and they have the power of death. It just depends on how they are used. The old saying is not true. Sticks and stones will break your bones…and words can hurt even worse. Here are the words that got me:

I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Mark 11:23

My God is bigger than the mountains. The problems may be big, but my God is bigger. This God lives in my heart. How often do I forget that? So, I can move forward with confidence. I will pray with my legs. I will pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on me. I will trust the words God has spoken that He wants good for me and not evil. I choose to believe.

Mountain, it is time for you to move.

If you fail to plan…(you know the rest.)

Why is it that the simple things of this life are so hard to grasp sometimes? I was listening to Zig Ziglar a couple of days ago and he asked the question, “How can you hit a target you can’t see?” He then asked a deeper question. “How can you hit a target you don’t even have?” The simple thing that has been hard to grasp? I need to have a plan. Not just in my head. I need to keep it in front of me where I can see it. Where I can’t ignore it. How do I expect to get anywhere without it?

“Without a plan, you cannot beat your competition.” Fran Tarkenton The truth is, without a plan, you can’t do much at all.

I was riding my motorcycle back from work today and had this thought, ‘ What if I planned my monthly budget out six months in advance?’ I about fell of my bike because of the simplicity and the profoundness of this thought. We are so programmed to live for today aren’t we? Do you see this in your own life? I know I see it in mine.

I wonder if that is why many people settle for living from paycheck to paycheck? Is it they don’t know how to make a plan for their money? Why do so many people say they want to start a business and never do? They fail to plan. If we don’t know what we are going to be doing tomorrow, how on earth could we be successful in business where you have to forecast sales and schedule clients?

So, I am making a commitment to myself right now. I am going to make a solid plan for the next 4 1/2 months. I am going to use the fire out of my outlook and my iPhone calendar. I have the eerie feeling that this simple paradigm shift will cause a firestorm of productivity that I have never known.

On a side note, I read this blog post by Michael Hyatt today about To-Do lists. Check it out.

The seasons change. So should we.

Have you ever found that you don’t enjoy something as much as you once did? It is not that the activity has changed, you have. The things that mattered the most at one point in time are now trivial things that only come up now and again. Seasons change and so do people.

A wise man once said, "For everything there is a season." I am finding this true in my own life more and more. The more the seasons change, the more I find myself different than I once was. This is not a bad thing. At one point in time I considered it madness to get up before 8 am unless I had to. Sleeping till 10 was even better than that. Now, my alarm is set for 5:00 am every day (except maybe Saturday and I will sleep in till about 7. It is hard to pass up waking up next to my wife and son. I am usually gone before they get up.)I used to enjoy laying around and loafing my days away. Now I have to be doing something productive…or mostly productive.

It is more than just these things though. With every stage of life I find myself at a place of possible reinvention. The things I have outgrown I have the option to remove from my life. I have the freedom to discover the things that my heart and soul are searching for. I don’t have to be a fixed object. The seasons change and I can too. I must.

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting different results. Could it be the seasons have changed and it is time to change with them? I would much rather be my authentic self in the season that I am in. Do you resist change? Are you trying to remain in a season of life that is over?

Change is never easy. My thought is this: If it takes you closer to being your authentic self, it is worth the struggle.

For my wife: I still do.

I went to a wedding the other day. I don’t know the couple that well, but I used to be the groom’s youth leader and he asked me to come. It was a small ceremony. Very intimate. Very nice.

I went to the wedding by myself and I found that I missed my wife very badly. I saw the bride come through the doors of the chapel and suddenly I went back in time over 11 years to one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. My wife was stunning as her father escorted her down the isle. She glowed like I had never seen before. I cried when I saw her. She was beauty in all its splendor.

The minister asked who would give the bride. Again, I was taken back, standing at the alter. My father-in-law gave her to me and then whispered in my ear that I had his full blessing. Words that still are precious to me.

They stood in front of family and friends and pledged their lives to each other. Standing there eleven years ago I had no idea how precious and true those vows we spoke to each other were. The vows we spoke to each other are as follows:

I take you to be my wedded wife / to have and to hold from this day forward / for better or worse / for richer or poorer / in sickness and in health / in the happiness that may brighten our days / in the sadness that my darken our days / to love and cherish till death do us part

With this ring / I pledge my life to you as your husband. May my strength by your protection / May my character be your pride / May I so love that you will find in me / the haven for which your heart truly long / I will endeavor to love you as Christ loves me / in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

With this ring / I pledge my life to you as your wife / I will receive your love as you have pledged / and endeavor to return to you the same kind of love / At all times and under all circumstances / I will love you constantly / Only death will break the pledge which I give to you today / In this spirit I give my love to you.

When we were first married we were full of dreams (still are) and we were certain that nothing bad was going to happen. Here we are 11 years later. I am more in love with her today that ever before. Life has battered us at times. We have had opportunities to grow apart over the years, but we have never taken them. Nor will we. We have held on to each other for better and for worse. We have lived through times of plenty and times where we didn’t have much. We have lived through sickness and been healthy again. We have walked loved ones to the grave. We have welcomed new life into our family. I cherish her. I know she feels the same. It hasn’t been easy, but the most worthwhile things rarely are. She is my bride. I am proud to be her husband.

So, I pray for this couple that they have a long and happy marriage. We never know what the years will hold, but it is so much better to walk along together.

I love you Marixa.